The Most Logical Mpreg Ever
by Novelist Pup
Summary: Like the title says. You can't argue with this one.


**The Most Logical Mpreg Ever **

That's right. The one mpreg you can't argue with. Final Fantasy X Mpreg. I **dare** anyone to challenge this. Oh, and if anyone asks, Quatre made me do it…

**Disclaimer: I own Final Fantasy X not. **

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Seymour Guado was a rather queer man.

Now, we can completely ignore the fact that he isn't even human **and** he's off his rocker, because it's been decided that he's a rather queer man.

With both meanings of the word 'queer' of course.

Seymour was also an insane, villainous, in-so-much-denial-yet-it's-so-obvious homo, and he had a thing for blondes. Yeah, he was really screwed in the head.

Yet, none of this answers the ever-present question of: Why the hell was Seymour pregnant?

The famous: When did the baby get there?

And popular: How the fuck is it getting out?

And simply enough, these can be answered _so much easier_ than other mpregs, because you see…

You know the design that runs down Seymour's chest and his stomach?

That's a zipper.

When it's time for the baby to be born, there shall be no pain involved whatsoever.

And the answer to the second question, well, with how many times Seymour is out there whoring himself out because "Boo-hoo! I couldn't gain Lady Yuna's heart and I have a thing for her boyfriend! Boo-fuckin'-hoo!"

Yeah.

For the answer to the first question: Please the answer for the second question.

Yes, Seymour's pregnancy is the absolute easiest one of all. Now, let's look in to when the baby's born…

((AT THE HOSPITAL))

"Oh God! Ohgodohgodohgod! I can't do this! I wasn't trained for this!"

Everyone in the emergency room stared at the panicking doctor, even the painless Seymour. His water broke, as in he was drinking water in a glass cup when the baby thoroughly punched his inside and he dropped the glass in surprise.

Actually, Seymour was quite proud of his baby, because it was already learning to cause pain and suffering to those around him, even his parents. At such and early age too, Seymour wiped a tear from his eye.

"You fool, just unzip the zipper! Don't you know how Guado pregnancies work?" Seymour snapped feeling annoyed because the child was practically ripping him apart inside. And it made him so proud. But he was still annoyed. The child could kill him later, like when it grew up and wanted to release hell upon all of Spira. Everyone knows Seymour already tried.

The doctor stopped panicking and put on some latex gloves and pulled at the zipper.

Oh, how Seymour was so happy for his chance to have a child. He hopes it's a boy.

The doctor unzipped the zipper slowly, down to the pelvic area, slowly reached inside and grabbed the biggest thing he could find in there.

The entire emergency room (except Seymour, who didn't even feel the baby's removal from him, and he was daydreaming about all the fun he and his new son would be having) stared at the little miracle in wonder.

"Aww! It's a girl!"

At this, Seymour's eyes snapped open and he glared at his child.

"A girl! Put it back in! I won't let it back out until it grows a dick." Seymour snarled, startling everyone.

"But Maester Seymour, wouldn't that be a bit unreasonable?" The doctor asked, scared to put the small child back into that tight, dark place. He just hopes that it wouldn't become claustrophobic when it grows up.

"Do I say what's reasonable or unreasonable with _your_ children? Do I? Of course I don't, so just put it back in!" And with that, Seymour took back the baby himself and put it back into his unzipped stomach. Then he zipped it back up.

"I dare you all to oppose to this." Seymour threatened, and walked out with a dignified cool. In a hospital gown.

**E**N**D**

* * *

Ha. I told you that it couldn't be opposed. Oh, and if anyone wants to know who the father is…**

* * *

(Quick Flick)**

"Well, now that we've experienced that… Who the hell is the father?" The doctor asked, scratching his head. He was also unaware that at the same time he said that, in the Farplane a blonde teenager in uneven shorts twitched.

**

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RE****A**L **E**N**D** (really!)EL N (really!) 


End file.
